One of the most difficult challenges I face here in China is adjusting to the lack of privacy. Yes, I knew this coming here. Yes, I am aware that I am in THEIR country. Yes, I knew it would be crowded, and yes, I knew that due to the cultural differences, I'd be more reliant upon others and was prepared for the "idea" of having less privacy; but that doesn't make it any easier. In fact, I wasn't even fully aware of how privacy and individualism/personal autonomy go together at all until now.
When I lived in the Czech Republic, one of the first observations made by myself and some of my American friends was how Czech people (and likely other Europeans) appear to be very quiet and reserved in public (on the subway or tram, for instance). I remember thinking at first, "Why do they all look so grumpy?" Contrast this to us North Americans, who are very open with our emotions in public. We chit chat, laugh, and joke around (often very loudly) with our friends on the subway, and it's often very obvious what kind of day we had, or what sort of evening we are about to have. We see very little wrong with displaying our feelings in public, and to an extent, have little trouble striking up conversations with others in public, strangers or not. A Czech person (I don't remember who, perhaps one of my adult students), explained to me that Europeans just aren't as free to express their emotions in public, and that it was a private thing. Striking up a conversation in public with a stranger was viewed as an infringement on that person's privacy. Having said that, Europeans are more willing to help a stranger in public, or give their seat to an elderly or disabled person. I enjoyed having that sense of privacy while still feeling like I was part of a community (like in Canada, people WILL come to help you if needed) I enjoyed sitting quietly on the subway with no one to talk to after work. It's my way of shifting gears from "work mode" to "non-work mode". In fact, one of the first things to irritate me when I came back to Canada was all the talking in public. Go figure.
Privacy as I know it, has almost no meaning here in China. I don't know if this is the result of culture, communism, a combination of both, or any other number of forces playing out, but I have felt very little privacy since I arrived. I'm not talking about the invasion of privacy that I expected, like having my employer bring me to have my visa physical done, or having her help me shop for food, a gym membership, or bringing me to the pharmacy. I'm talking about privacy on a different level. I feel like my privacy is invaded to a level where I know longer feel like I am even a human being. There is no separation of professional and personal. There's no separation of the individual and the community. When one person has to do renovations, they make as much noise as they want, and everyone suffers. No one says anything, and "disturbing someone's peace and quiet" is an alien concept.
My utilities in my flat, my decision not to take Chinese medicine for my cold, what I am having for lunch, and what I did on my days off have been topics discussed in our meetings. I've received text messages on my days off about work, asking me to check my email (non-urgent issues). What I see as private issues of other staff members are discussed in our meetings. Changes in my work schedule are not communicated to me (changing the class schedule requires the school to contact 40 students but no one thinks to contact the ONLY teacher). Why? Because I am not an individual, I am an object that someone "owns." When the time comes to teach that lesson, someone will come and get me and command me to teach, like a trained seal. Why tell me that the lesson times change when they think they own me 24-7? After all, I am in Sujiatuo, where could I possibly be but in my apartment? (The few times I did go into the city, the police contacted my employer just to make sure I didn't move, after I checked into a hostel for the night).
When I go out, people stare at me. Not just one discreet glance like we all do when we see something a little different (I'm thinking a drag queen in downtown Toronto ;)). They stare, almost to the point where they might walk into an oncoming bus if not careful. People shout "Hello", just to see what they'll get back. If you reply to be friendly, they will follow you. Not to hurt you, but it's as though you're an alien from outer space, and they want to take a photo with you as if you're some strange phenomenon that no one would believe existed were it not for the evidence (like a 3-breasted woman). I've had experiences in restaurants where parents (while they're eating, and I am trying to), force their kids to come stand at my table and practice their English with me, with no consideration for my feelings (or the child's). Again, I am not a person, I am this THING for their kids to amuse themselves with, or practice on.
If the landlord or a worker needs to come to my apartment, they'll ring the doorbell first, but if that door isn't locked, they're coming in; they don't wait for you to let them in. On the bus, people rub up against you, crawl over you, push you, rub their sweaty, smelly bodies up against you, and make no effort to avoid it. I feel violated every time I go out. (It's much easier to tolerate in February than it is in June when its 38C.) Again, I am not so much complaining, as I am describing. I knew it would be this way, but it's hard to get used to; in fact, I think it's impossible to get used to.
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